Should I Do A First Look At My Wedding?

What Is a First Look?

A first look is when you see your partner for the first time before the wedding ceremony. Typically the couple is alone with just the photographer and videographer present – although they usually try their best to be as far away as possible to give the couple some privacy. A first look usually lasts between 10-20 minutes.

I firmly believe that choosing to do a first look is a personal decision. I am not here to convince you to do a first look or to not do a first look. It is entirely up to what you and your partner wants!!! Some couples feel really strongly about wanting to see each other for the first time while walking down the alter, and that is totally okay – and some couples do want to see each other before their ceremony, and that is totally okay too.

There is no right or wrong decision in wanting (or not wanting) to do a first look. At the end of the day, it’s up to what you want to do on YOUR wedding day. Every couple is different!!

Some Pros to a First Look

Depending on your timeline, you can get a lot of the “mandatory” photos (the couple portraits, photos with your wedding party, family photos) taken prior to the ceremony, which ultimately allows for more time to spend with your guests. These are some more “pros” to doing a first look:

• You get some alone time together before the ceremony.
• Any pre-wedding nerves can be calmed after seeing each other.
• You can privately read your vows together, exchange letters, and/or pray together before your ceremony.
• You can exchange wedding gifts with one another.
• You can take all your formal couple photos before the ceremony.
• You can take photos with the wedding party before the ceremony. This is also a great option if you think your wedding party will wander and/or head to the bar as soon as the ceremony is over.
• You (or your partner) are wanting a more emotional reaction without the pressure of being in front of guests at the ceremony.
• You usually get to spend more time at the cocktail hour / with your guests after the ceremony.
• More photo opportunities (it had to be said, after all a wedding photographer is writing this!)

Some Things to Consider If You Have a First Look

Some additional things to consider when it comes to doing a first look:

• You’ll have to get ready earlier if you do a first look – an 1.5 hours to 2 hours before the ceremony start time is pretty typical! Make sure to plan accordingly with your hair and makeup artist, communicate the ready time with your bridesmaids and groomsmen, and whoever else is helping you to get ready.
• Leave something out if you’re wanting to do a first look while also wanting to make walking down the alter special. You can do a first look without the veil or other accessories to not give away the whole look. Or you can walk up in your pajamas with just your hair and makeup done – and leave your wedding attire a complete surprise for the ceremony.
• You won’t be legally married in your couple portraits. Some couples are not bothered by this, but some couples care about that. But you can always get more photos together after the ceremony too!
• Consider the timeline for the day when deciding on a first look or not. A few questions to ask yourself is:
  • How long is your cocktail hour? How much time do you want to spend at cocktail hour? Or do you not care to go to the cocktail hour – or is your cocktail hour longer than an hour?
  • How long do you think it will take to round up people for photos (both your family members and the members of your wedding party)? Location of the ceremony and the cocktail hour/reception are also factors! Pro tip: communicate with your families and wedding party on when they’re expected to take photos no matter if it’s before or after the ceremony.
  • What time is your ceremony – and what time does the sun set? When will it be too dark to take photos together as a couple (arguably the most important photos of the day)? Will you have time for all the photos you want to take before it gets dark?

Timeline Examples Including a First Look

— Wedding Timeline Example if You Do Have a First Look

2.5 hours before ceremony: Photos with Partner #1 and their wedding party.

2 hours before the ceremony: Photos with Partner #2 and their wedding party.

1.5 hours before the ceremony: First look between Partner #1 and Partner #2. Take couple portraits after the first look.

1 hour before ceremony: Photos with both partners and ALL wedding party (bridesmaids and groomsmen).

30 minutes before ceremony: Completely done with photos as guests begin to arrive. Everyone will have the chance to relax and freshen up before the ceremony.

10 minutes after the ceremony: Take family photos with your immediate and extended families.

30-40 minutes after ceremony: Go to the cocktail hour and spend time with guests before the reception.

— Wedding Timeline Example if You Do Not Have a First Look

1.5 hours before the ceremony: Photos with Partner #1 and their wedding party.

1 hour before ceremony: Photos with Partner #2 and their wedding party.

30 minutes before ceremony: Be temporarily done with photos as guests begin to arrive. Everyone will have the chance to relax and freshen up before the ceremony.

10 minutes after the ceremony: Take family photos with your immediate and extended families.

40 minutes after ceremony: Photos with both partners and ALL wedding party.

1 hour after ceremony: Take couple portraits together.

1.5 hours after ceremony: Go to the cocktail hour or the reception.

Obviously these times may be slightly different for your own wedding based on factors like if you want to also take immediate family photos before the ceremony, how long family photos will take after the ceremony (and rounding people up), how long wedding party photos take (and rounding people up), how long cocktail hour is suppose to last, what time the reception actually starts, and so on. The above timeline examples are just that – examples!

Alternatives to a First Look

In case you do not want to do a first look, here are some other options. You don’t have to do any of these, but they’re just some more ideas to consider.

• A first touch with your partner. Typically, you’ll be facing away from each other while holding hands and taking in the moment together before the ceremony.
• Back to back private vows / letters / prayers
• First look with parents / grandparents / family
• First look with your wedding party
• Taking a shot or a drink together
• First look prank (dressed in your pajamas, a costume, etc.)

Even if you choose to not have a first look, set aside some alone time on your day!! This is SO IMPORTANT. With everyone you love in one room and a lot of friends and family you may not have seen in awhile, it’s really easy for the day to fly by. I’m sure you’ve heard that a thousand times already, but it’s so true. Set aside some time in your day to be alone, just the two of you. Even if it’s just 10 minutes in the morning before you start to get ready or after the ceremony/before heading into cocktail hour! Be together, take some deep breaths, and soak it alllllll in that this is YOUR WEDDING DAY.

A few ways to incorporate alone time on your wedding day:

• Spend the morning together before getting ready: eat breakfast/brunch together, go on a walk, go on a coffee run together, etc.
• Write your own vows and say them privately between just the two of you either before or after your ceremony (usually during the couple portraits timeframe)
• Sneak away from the reception for a few minutes for some sunset pictures and to soak in the fact that you’re married (!!!!)
• Have a solo last dance with just the two of you in the room at the very end of the reception

Conclusion

Ultimately, it is entirely up to you and your partner on if you want to do a first look. It can be a tough decision, but there is truly not a right answer whether you choose to do a first look or not. It is YOUR wedding day and your choice!! You can always change your mind too – even on the day of!

Some More Resources

• If you thought the timeline examples were helpful, here are some more All-Day Wedding Timeline Examples
• Wedding Planning: Where to Start
• 3 Tips for Family Photos on Your Wedding Day
• 12 Ways to Have a Unique Wedding
• What to Do With Your Wedding Photos